i feel sickened.

anyway, i've been putting on weight i know. all that desk-bound work and sinful afternoon snacks are really taking a toll on my tummy. and thighs.

Have i mentioned i HATE fat tummy & thighs? it's worse than being an a-cup by a thousand times. Thank God my legs are long, or i might just wind up looking like those short girls with turkey ham legs. I can't help but scrutinize girls' legs whenever i'm out (that is, if i'm behind them. if i'm facing them, i examine their chest. but that's besides the point.)

From today onwards, no more snacks. Ophelia, please keep your snacks out of my sight.. don't let me fall into temptation. haha!

i'm going to do the one thing that many of my friends have been doing all their teenage lives but denying it vehemently when questioned. i'm going on a DIET.

for those of you who are afraid i might just disappear into thin air, don't worry. if i do, i'll be damn happy. coz then i'd have achieved my goal--to cease my pointless existence.


i've been thinking for many many days. and finally, today i had a revelation.

love does not exist. asides from parental love, all other proclamations of love are but just a bunch of lies. romance, yes. but love, BAH.

i have not come across a single married couple fulfilled with their married life. Of course, i'm not talking about heady newlyweds. Those are still under the illusion of so-called love. Most couples who've spent enough years down the road have long gone thrown the concept of love out the window. What remains that binds them together is a legal contract, children, and various responsibilities.

God made us humans such pathetic creatures. Why are we made in such a way that we'll always take this for granted? that men will falter and lust after other females? that women either adopt the carefree bachelor's nonchalent attitude or weep over their cheating parters? Given, some don't fall under these categories. But more often than not, we all do. What's the point in marriage then? have kids? quarrel about the kids? feed the kids? tire yourself out over them? pick on each other's flaws? take each other for granted?

the way i see it, marriage serves no other purpose than to deflect loneliness at old age, and perhaps for the sake of procreation too.


On an ending note, i hope all men who cheat on their loving partners contract gonorrhoea or some other painful and embarrasing sex disease. and all the women who cheated with them, irreparable disfiguration.


Anyway, just to clarify. My last paragraph wasnt referring to anyone in particular. Just my sentiments.