I believe God is fair, so when He gives a person too much of something, He takes something else away. That's His way of suppressing Man's ever-self-inflating pride so we won't delude ourselves thinking we are gods.

Don't believe it? Well, how many times have you heard statements like these?

"He's damn smart la... too bad his face cannot make it."

or, how about...

"She's so gorgeous my gawt, but a pity she's such a b****."

sound familar?

So we often lack something or another, be it beauty, wealth, intelligence or some other desired aspect of human life. And if you know of anyone who possesses them all, i assure you there must be some severe character flaw waiting to be uncovered! there must be!! and if there isn't, smother them to death because they're aliens.

For me, I believe that for everything good God gave me, He decided to sacrifice most of my chest. When i get to heaven, i'll ask Him why exactly He gave me such puny ones. I imagine our conversation would sound like this:

me: "God, couldnt you have given me slightly bigger boobs? say how about a B cup?"

and i envision a couple of God's possible replies...

Reply type 1:

"But you're so skinny I was worried you would tip over if your boobs were bigger.
It's all about balance my child, balance."



Reply type 2:

"Dear child, I saved you on alot of soap, didn't I?"



He better have a better explanation than that man. Hahah.

So anyway, i've been thinking about this really close friend of mine.. and wondering why God seemed to give her more of everything..
Pok, yeah that's you i'm talking about.

I realise you are so well-endowed in many respects----You've got an UPsized CHEST, UPsIzeD HEAD, UPsIZED HAIR.. hahaha lucky you. anyway, i love you most for your big heart. so i know you'll forgive me for blogging about you this way. HIAK.

So let me continue expressing my grievances against big-breasted women.

The other day i was on the MRT.
Because i got on at Eunos , it was fully packed already and i had to stand. Ooh and lucky lucky me. i was positioned right before this thirty-plus year-old woman with MONSTER MAMMERIES. The impossibly low-cut black blouse she had on seemed to be wrestling back the contents within threatening to BURST OUT with each jerk of the train.

Now i don't have anything against well-endowed females, in fact i think all women should have some breasts. BUT, it's a different thing when women with pasty-looking breasts expose their pale, wobbly and aesthetically disturbing assets to innocent unsuspecting members of the public. Like what i always say, "BIG DOES NOT MEAN BEAUTIFUL."

Anyway, back to the woman.

Amidst all her wobbling which got me feeling quite sick after awhile, i remember trying to estimate the length of her cleavage.

THREE INCHES long.

yeah, that's how much they were hanging out.

if you ask me why i was staring at them, i got two things to say:

1) one of the first things i notice about girls is their chest anyway. ahha surprise surprise.

2) it was right THERE IN MY FACE whatd'cha expect me to do??? i tried not looking at but it was so damn gross and besides she asked for it. who call her wear so low cut. not young anymore also lor.

next thing i did was to observe the reactions of the surrounding male species.

Ah pek standing beside me--- glanced at zone XXX. Quickly looked away, slightly abashed. A minute later. Eyes wandered back to rest on zone XXX, with a phoney glassy look in his eyes (i think he was trying to pretend to daydream while visually feasting on her assets)

Twenty-plus year old man listening to his iPod standing diagonally opposite woman-- Entered the MRT. Glanced at zone XXX. (i think he found it distasteful). For the next couple of minutes, tried to fight accidentally casting his eyes on the forbidden zone. Gave up. Turned his back to her.

It's really all quite amusing, watching the whole scene. and the whole time, monstymamms was applying her eyeshadow, either completely oblivious to the attention she was getting, or acting it.

i hope she suffocates on her breasts one day.

MUAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH.